When Imagine FX approached me about doing an “Artist in Residence” article, showcasing my workspace, my first question was “Will I have to clean? Basically, if it involves effort, I’m not doing it.”

Luckily for my waning work ethic, IFX agreed that a candid snapshot on a typical day would make for just as interesting of a portrait of a studio as the more typical, professional, cleaned and organized one.

My workspace is a decadent little corner crockpot of clutter, slow roasting Heaven and Hell on a daily, though totally unscheduled basis. A day in the life of me goes something like this: Fall out of bed, hopefully sometime before the legions of denizens who live with me come home from their day jobs. Clawing, crawling, then shambling my way toward the kitchen is but the first in a series of distractions as I attempt to justify not actually starting work. Point of fact, much of my “workday” consists of excuses. “Oh, I should go workout! I can’t properly use hotkeys if my gut sits on the keyboard!” “Hmm… Now I should answer my email. My literally TENS of fans deserve their questions answered!” “You know what I don’t do enough? Practice playing guitar without using fingers.” “Well, I can’t work now! Not with a steaming fresh Imagine FX that needs reading! (Also moustaches drawn on everyone!)” (Ha! Shameless plug! Give me more articles, please?)

Once I’ve done many grueling hours of not working, I finally settle into a disciplined, committed, hardcore ten to fifteen minutes of productivity.

Because of my aversion to discipline and hard work, I use a variety of shortcuts and tools to make the most of my tiny bursts of focus. Take a look at all these toys. Forget study and practice! With the right plugins and hardware, you too can live the hedonistic rockstar lifestyle of the geek artist!

1) Cintiq: If you are reading this, and my psychic powers inform me you are, then you’re already familiar with this divine digital canvas.
2) 30” Dell monitor. For reference, a full-view window of whatever I’m working on, and Futurama . More monitor means more awesome.
3) Belkin game controller: When a whole keyboard is not enough buttons. This little programmable gem saves tons of time with its hotkey and macro magic.
4) Mirror: For making funny faces at myself. Yet another distraction masquerading as “reference.”
5) Gibson SG mousepad: Because even my mouse wants to rock.
6) Baby Cthulhu: Because it’s important to remember who’s dark service I’m in.
7) Photoshop Configurator: A lovely plug in that lets you make your own menus and such. I have buttons for all my most commonest functions. Like “set up canvas,” “make better,” and “make this thing on fire.”
8) Stacks of books: Reference, inspiration, distraction. My house is basically a nearly innavigable labyrinth of books. Here we see Iain McCaig’s Shadowline, Alexi Briclot’s Worlds and Wonders, and Jame’s Gurney’s Color and Light. They’re all so good as to make you want to quit forever and become a jewel thief. …Ahem, I mean work harder.
9) Gamer shrapnel: As though I don’t already have enough to sidetrack me, I try and keep up with the books and games I illustrate. Looks like today there’s some Magic the Gathering, and some Legend of the Five Rings. Both will utterly consume you, but you’ll enjoy it.
10) Bright orange Dutch anti-Nazi Nazi helmet: Signed by the gamer clan representatives of many nations. This ultimate artist tool requires no further explanation.
11) Binary clock: Because when you need to know what time it is, it’s best to stop for ten minutes to try and figure this thing out each time.
12) Blue Snowball Microphone: For the podcasts, video tutorials, and Skype n’ sketch sessions that I haven’t actually gotten around to doing.
13) Jake and Elwood Blues: To remind me that they’re not going to catch me. I’m on a mission from God.
14) Golden “Open” Acrylics: Because occasionally I play pretend at being a real artist. Also buried in there somewhere: honest to goodness oil paints. Probably fashioned into a fortress for stowaway pets by this point.
15) 3D Glasses Sockmonkey: Can see right through you. There are no lies in his presence.
16) Computer: Water-cooled, two quad-cores, 8 disk RAID 6, solid state system drive, and an ocean of RAM. This home grown processing juggernaut looks more like a Borg orgy than a computer at this point.