Deathrite Shaman

Is this a preview pic of the new live action Nightmare Before Christmas II: Oogey Boogey Beach Party? Are the skulls singing "It's Actually Really for Serious Ours This time!" in seven part harmony? Is that sad, jawless fellow playing backup cowbell?

Sadly, no. That magnificent film was shelved in favor of "Dora the Explorer Meets the Care Bear Fellowship of the Rings" direct to DVD.

So then who is this mysterious figure? Zombie Hamlet? Darth Maul's albino brother? Alice Cooper in his shower robe?

I, of course, totally know. But if I told you, he'd lose all that wonderful mystery!

What I can tell you, is that the reference was shot on location. We snuck into Rush Limbaugh's giant "Cannibal Club" hot tub, while he was away devouring infants. The majority of the bones are from the tub, but curiously, there were no skulls. I think he may fill them with his copious excess bile, and offer them up in the dark rituals that must be how he conjured a career in the first place.

For Magic the Gathering. Copyright Wizards of the Coast. Art directed by Jeremy Jarvis.

Skulls provided by "Creepy Pete's No Questions Asked Cleaning and Disposal," a division of "Anything Goes Necro Supply" owned and operated by "Families, Traditional Values, Kittens, Puppies, and Candy for Orphans, a Nonprofit."